I got his in an email and found it quite amusing so I thought I would share.
1. The first rule of Chuck Norris is: You do not talk about Chuck Norris
2. Chuck Norris can divide by zero
3. Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain
5. Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice
6. When the boogey man goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
7. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.
9. Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
11. Chuck Norris uses a nightlight. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
12. Contrary to popular belief there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
13. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down. 14. If a tree falls in the forest does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris hears everything.
15. Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
16. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
17. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
18. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
19. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
20. Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But the usually grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
21. Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly feet-sized bruises on the face.
22. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
23. When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal one-one roundhouse kick to the face. 24. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth then boils the water with his own rage.
25. Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lies perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
26. Lighting never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
27. There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
28. Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
29. Chuck Norris got his driver’s license at the age of 16. Seconds.
30. Chuck Norris is not only a noun but a verb.
31. The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons. It was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. They didn’t even come close.
32. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
33. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one ever dared to question his motives.
34. Chuck Norris is the only man who has literally beaten the odds. With his fists.
35. Chuck Norris can kick through all six degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere-in the face- at any time.
36. Chuck Norris can in fact “raise the roof.” And he can do it with one hand.
37. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know – except for the definition of mercy.
38. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris bets all three at the same time.
39. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight and the knife lost.
40. If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole punch.
41. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
42. The chemical for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. There are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
43. Chuck Norris’ pulse in measured on the Richter scale.
44. Chuck Norris had a deep and abiding respect for human life- unless it gets in his way.
45. America is not a democracy, but a Chucktatorship.
46. Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norissaurus.
47. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
48. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
49. Chuck Norris can taste lies.
50. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Everyone Got Rick Rolled
I was at work on Thanksgiving, so I completely missed this. Apparently the entire viewing audience got Rick Rolled. This just goes to show how much the internet and technology influences our lives. I actually think this is pretty funny... I hate the song, but the fact that this happened during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is hilarious.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Gaming Christmas List
As an answer to the call for gamer Christmas list on RPG Blog II, I have compiled a list of the 5 gaming items I want for the holidays. Most of which I probably will never get without a Christmas miracle.
- The Ultimate Gaming Table
- The Ultimate DM Screen
- Palladium System Pocket Guide
- More Supplement books for Battlestar Galactica RPG.
- A gaming only room. The dining room works well, but it would be nice to have a room just for gaming, so that I leave everything out for game nights.
- Rifts: Book of Magic
- Freedom City Campaign Setting
- A set of Amethyst Gaming Dice
- 4e Draconomicon
- PS3 (Video games count as gaming!)
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Hope you all have a great Turkey Day!
Now, I'm going to go raid the kitchen with my fork of gluttony +1....
Now, I'm going to go raid the kitchen with my fork of gluttony +1....
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
No more D&D for me... for a while
I'm taking this holiday season off from D&D. I'm a bit tired of all the hype, trash talking and in fighting among fans (I've done my fair share of all of them) about 4e and have decided to remove myself from the whole mess for a while. I have expressed my likes and dislikes for the system, argued my points, and mentioned WotC's inability to deliver as/when promised more than once.
I still like the 4e system, but for the remainder of the year I will not play D&D or talk about the game on this blog. I am declaring for the rest of the year, I will not post any opinions or reviews of the game. I don't even plan to post any news items. There are so many other blogs that will pick up any important D&D news, I know there will be more than enough quality info out there. If you don't believe me check out all the great blogs over at RPGbloggers, you won't be disappointed.
My brain is over saturated with anti-WotC sentiment, much of which I have caused and this has removed some of the fun for a game I have loved for too many years. So I'm taking this time to recharge my gaming batteries. After the new year maybe I will be able to look at the game the way I use to.
Granted there are only a handful of weeks left in the year, but my next 4-5 weeks will be D&D free.
This is my end of year resolution... no D&D for me.
I still like the 4e system, but for the remainder of the year I will not play D&D or talk about the game on this blog. I am declaring for the rest of the year, I will not post any opinions or reviews of the game. I don't even plan to post any news items. There are so many other blogs that will pick up any important D&D news, I know there will be more than enough quality info out there. If you don't believe me check out all the great blogs over at RPGbloggers, you won't be disappointed.
My brain is over saturated with anti-WotC sentiment, much of which I have caused and this has removed some of the fun for a game I have loved for too many years. So I'm taking this time to recharge my gaming batteries. After the new year maybe I will be able to look at the game the way I use to.
Granted there are only a handful of weeks left in the year, but my next 4-5 weeks will be D&D free.
This is my end of year resolution... no D&D for me.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Quick Review: Dead Reign
Though it didn't get published in time for Halloween, as I had hoped, I finally got my copy in the mail and it did not disappoint.
Dead Reign takes place on an earth that has been over run with zombies. Over all it is reminiscent of Max Brook's World War Z book. As a matter of fact when I first started to read the rule book it seemed almost as if this were really a game based on Mr. Brook's novel. Though as you read it does break off into new and interesting directions.
The PCs are "normal" people who are trying to stay alive in an undead world. The only really non human O.C.C is the half living, people who just don't quite die of the Zombie infection. Basically they are zombies that didn't completely turn and don't feed on human flesh.
The bad zombies are more than just your standard, mindless moaners, though those are the dominate kind, there are at least 7 types of zombies including intelligent zombies.
The walking dead aren't the only things to fear in the Dead Reign world. There are humans who have been driven mad, ones who form religions around death and those that are just plain evil for the PCs to contend with as well.
The book provides a great deal of well though out information for player and GMs alike. With Tons of equipment, ideas, information about the world, monsters, and rules for nearly all situations, this game is one of the few Palladium books I would say is actually "all you need to play".
This is a Palladium game so if you are familiar with the system this game should be a fun addition to your collection. If you are not a Palladium gamer the system has a learning curve, but it isn't that difficult to master. Most complain that Palladium games tend to follow a clunky rules system and while it may be true, the system is still fun. The Palladium system is an old school system I think that is what make it feel clunky at times. People have just gotten to use to playing the streamlined systems we see released each day, but all in all the Palladium system is really not bad once you get use to it.
My biggest praise for Dead Reign is that the book is much better organized than most Palladium games. If you've played Rifts you know what I am talking about. If you need to know a rule it is pretty easy to find on the Contents page.
Granted I am a zombie fan, but overall I had a blast with this game. I know there are tons of zombie themed games out there, some may be better than Dead Reign, but so far this is my favorite and a game I will not only be playing for quite a while, but one that I will incorporate into my Rifts and Beyond the Supernatural games. I may even work some of the zombies into my Palladium Fantasy campaigns.
My final word: The book is interesting, well written and just choked full of gaming fun. If you are a horror rpg or zombie fan( and who isn't?), you need to pick up this game.
Dead Reign takes place on an earth that has been over run with zombies. Over all it is reminiscent of Max Brook's World War Z book. As a matter of fact when I first started to read the rule book it seemed almost as if this were really a game based on Mr. Brook's novel. Though as you read it does break off into new and interesting directions.
The PCs are "normal" people who are trying to stay alive in an undead world. The only really non human O.C.C is the half living, people who just don't quite die of the Zombie infection. Basically they are zombies that didn't completely turn and don't feed on human flesh.
The bad zombies are more than just your standard, mindless moaners, though those are the dominate kind, there are at least 7 types of zombies including intelligent zombies.
The walking dead aren't the only things to fear in the Dead Reign world. There are humans who have been driven mad, ones who form religions around death and those that are just plain evil for the PCs to contend with as well.
The book provides a great deal of well though out information for player and GMs alike. With Tons of equipment, ideas, information about the world, monsters, and rules for nearly all situations, this game is one of the few Palladium books I would say is actually "all you need to play".
This is a Palladium game so if you are familiar with the system this game should be a fun addition to your collection. If you are not a Palladium gamer the system has a learning curve, but it isn't that difficult to master. Most complain that Palladium games tend to follow a clunky rules system and while it may be true, the system is still fun. The Palladium system is an old school system I think that is what make it feel clunky at times. People have just gotten to use to playing the streamlined systems we see released each day, but all in all the Palladium system is really not bad once you get use to it.
My biggest praise for Dead Reign is that the book is much better organized than most Palladium games. If you've played Rifts you know what I am talking about. If you need to know a rule it is pretty easy to find on the Contents page.
Granted I am a zombie fan, but overall I had a blast with this game. I know there are tons of zombie themed games out there, some may be better than Dead Reign, but so far this is my favorite and a game I will not only be playing for quite a while, but one that I will incorporate into my Rifts and Beyond the Supernatural games. I may even work some of the zombies into my Palladium Fantasy campaigns.
My final word: The book is interesting, well written and just choked full of gaming fun. If you are a horror rpg or zombie fan( and who isn't?), you need to pick up this game.
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