Monday, January 12, 2009

You play too much D&D if…

Over the years I've seen this around the net several times, but a friend recently emailed it to me so I thought I would share. I have to admit to actually doing or knowing people who do/have done some of the things on the list. I'm particularly guilty of #'s 6(I don't do it every time, but have done it), 10, 16, 21(have done, but not regularly), 22 (though they call them my geek shirts because they aren't all about D&D), the rest of the list fits for the most part but some are common to most D&D players... or so I tell myself.

You play too much D&D if…
1. You see the following headline: “Abberration Splits Dog's Left Leg in Two” and wonder who let the illithids out to play.
2. You automatically attack someone when they pass through your threatened space
3. There is no such thing as too much D&D.
4. Most of the arguments you have with your S.O. involve things between your characters.
"You know I wanted that sword, but you took it. I can't believe you! You're sleeping under the stars tonight, get out of the tent!"
5. You wonder out loud during the movie whether Conan has more fighter or barbarian levels or what kind of enchantments Li Mu-bai's Green Destiny has.
6. You say +1 every time someone says something you really like.
7. Every time you pass by a gas station sign stating the price of gas you "attempt to disbelieve"...I always fail my will save
8. Every time someone mentions 'Santa's Elves' you correct them: 'technically, those are dwarves, or maybe even gnomes.'
9. You think that during the creation of the European Union and the Euro, Europe screwed up the chance to change their currency to the GP standard.
10. You love hobbits and hate kender - and know the difference.
11. You are driving on a State Road and think, "Wow, that's a high SR"
12. When you dream of hiring a Drow Raiding party to "deal" with every person who has ever wronged you in your life.
13. When you are watching Kung Fu the TV series and you say out loud, "Kane is definitely Lawful Good." and nobody knows what you are talking about.
14. When you watch Lord of the Rings and try to list each feat and skill levels of the members of the Fellowship.
15. When your ultimate fantasy is to have your wife/girlfriend dress up like Red Sonja.
16. You get offended when people make fun of the game and/or its players.
17. You set your monitor on fire to kill a forum troll.
18. You think Boeing should name their planes Astral, Celestial, Ethereal, etc instead of using numerical designation.
19. After you get a girl's phone number she immediately takes it back once you mention her failed Sense Motive check.
20. You have an irrational fear of rainbows.
21. When you see someone succeed, you bust out with a "they must have rolled a natural 20,eh?".
22. When you dress up for a meeting at work, your coworkers ask “What happened to your D&D shirts?”
23. When your ultimate fantasy is to have your husband/boyfriend dress up like Red Sonja.
24. You once hurt your back moving your D&D supplies to a different shelf. (done this)
25. You reorganize the D&D section at the book store because you think Complete Champion shouldn’t go next to Book of Vile Darkness. (done this)
26. You get into an argument and you take out your dice to make an intimidation check.
27. You call 5 ft 1 square
28. When you get confused while watching The Lord of the Rings and you see Gandalf wielding a sword.
29. "I am a level 20 Sorceror/Rogue" is actually not am empty threat to you
30. i'm not a nerd, i'm a level 8 dragon disciple
31. You don't get more dates even with an "18" charisma
32. When meeting new people, you ask what their THAC0 is.
33. When you hit another car you roll to determine the damage
34. You don't believe that you *can* play too much Dungeons and Dragons.
35. At work you wield a +4 "mop of scrubitude"
36. You can accurately describe all 7 effects of Prismatic Spray
37. You roll a d20 to see if you can eat breakfast
38. you've ever been attracted to your own character
39. you carry 20-side dice in your pocket
40. You watch an action movie and think "I wonder what was the d20 roll for that".
41. You *think* in Elvish
42. You argue with your friends and say "I cast Lv 15 STFU on you paladin!"
43. You know WHY Legolas can walk on snow.
44. Any exposure to sunlight gives sunburn
45. You automatically speak in third person
46. You have something made of 'mirthral' in your wardrobe
47. a 20-side dice is among your arsenal of weapons
48. All hail the almighty DM
49. you know what the 'draconomicon' is
50. You only move as far as the dice tell you
51. You have a D&D tattoo
52. You get really pissed because you can't have an illithid character
53. You go on blind dates acting uppity because you KNOW she's not even a level 1
54. You call it Dungeons and Dragons instead of D+D.
55. You hang out with the Keepers
56. Your secret pouch of spells is filled with urine.
57. You make a list of signs that you play too much Dungeons and Dragons.

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